Pangaea

-GYROMITE
Grab your turnips and get to ready to defuse some timed explosives with Gyromite! Sound confusing? Well it should. Thinking about the premise of this game 20 years after playing it makes me appreciate the innocence of youth. I am 100% certain that I never for an instant questioned why some Doctor Wilyish man was fighting strange duck monsters amidst crushing pillars, turnips, and timed explosives.
Unbridled ridiculousness!! When I received Gyromite from some relative guy for my birthday, I didn’t care if it made sense or not. All I knew was that it came with a cool looking robot, (the orginal R.O.B.) and was infinitely more fun than practicing piano. Gyromite was better than school, because you could quit and go to recess whenever you wanted, and it was way cooler than playing basketball against the neighborhood kids because I didn’t always get my ass kicked. I loved Gyromite like a dear friend. We became closer perhaps than even my beloved childhood cat Frisky Jr. Because unlike Frisky Jr., Gyromite never ran away for two months, and then showed up one night looking all gross and bony, only to get run over by a car a week later. You were a good friend Gyromite. You never became street pizza. Or yelled at me to pass the ball you can’t shoot dummy c’mon!! You stayed in the basement cupboard with the other Nintendo games and R.O.B. You are forever baiting duck monsters with turnips and squishing things with blue and red pillars. God you were weird.